happy days, bored

Well yesterday and today my school is having something called the CAHSEE tests and since im a Sr i dont have to take the test so school doesnt start till 10:50 which is really cool. I have gotten the chance to sleep in catch up on homework and stuff and its really awesome. Besides the testing going on not much else has happened, but I do get to visit my dad during spring break in two weeks which makes me really happy, and somewhat anxious. My painting is coming along nicely though just takes forever to blend it correctly and draw the finer black lines that outline and separate the colors. Not much else is going on though, kinda wish there was more to do, or at least more for me to do, around here. I'm getting bored of the same monotonous thing every week. Well until then.

feeling...philosophical

Recently i have been coming up with really inspiring quote that are actually pretty legitimate. Also i am making a clipboard and an ornament or two for my schools art show and auction to raise funding for the schools art program. Ive been feeling awesome but school has been taking quite a bit of time out of my life. Today i checked out the sandiego art institute for culunary classes which i think was awesome and i really think i might go there. I also love this christmas season, me always singing christmas music and feeling merry is the most of it. Been really side tracked with alot of random crap though. The only awesome thing is that i havent given a crap about peoples opinions, which has kept me happy. Well thats all really for today might post some art for you all maybe a story or something(clean of coarse need access to this site at school) well until then.

If you look upon life you will realise joy is very simple. It is something that people have to find within themselves. Though you see it around you and you believe thats where you gain it, in truth it comes from yourself and you are the only one who can really control your fate.

sick and my computer hates me

Hey everyone, for the past 5ish days maybe a week ive been si k and it sucks like hell. To top that off my computer is a tard and randomly turns off for no apparent reason at all. Its been really hum drum for the past while and i wish something uber exciting or awesome would happen. Well my schools gsa is going to recieve a financial award at the gsa awards either this week or next, well sometime soon so i cant wait to go i think it will be lots of fun for sure. I cant believe we are getting money though its awesome. Not much else is going on but it is all great and fun and stuff so yuppers. Well until then.

Breaking Down The Walls

HEYO!! I am posting this blog because earlier this week on Wednesday I was part of a program called Breaking Down The Walls. It is a program that was held all week were students got to take an entire day off to be apart of it. while there we "break down walls" such as racial, gender, and other differences between people. It is a really great program. we started by getting in a circle, well more like a square, that went around the entire gym. we then had to link arms with either a person on the left or on the right of us to be a partner. the person with the longest hair, me in my case, would go to the inside of the circle. we then introduced ourselves, my partners name was alex. after that we played a game called birdie on the perch. it was alot of fun. the two "lines" would go in opposite directions and then when the leader person who was running the program says "birdie fly home" all those on the inside, designated as the birdie< go running to their partner to sit on their knee. we do three times each time with a new partner, and the third time those on the inside switch so everyone is a "perch" once. After that we did that, we moved around and got new partners and talked with them about our "crazy" families which was really interesting. after talking we switched partners and we then talked about a personal story. In my case i talked about the time i broke my nose and my partner talked about when he got hit in the head with a golf club by his sister when they were five. it was really fun and interesting. we then made new parnters again, and we switch partners alot, and then based off of what we know from just meeting them we had to guess what cereal what car and what vacation place they would go to out of the three provided by "breaking down the walls" organizer. after that we talked with our partners about the "real you", which basically was we talked about who we really were as a person. i met alot of great people during this. then the pairs of poeple would get into groups with anouther pair for a game of tag, there were a few conditions though, first we could not separate from our parteners we had to stay linked in some way, hand or arms, and secondly when tage we had to spin around before we go chasing after our tag pair. me and my partner were untaged the most and it was really fun to just play such a simple game. after this we sat in our groups of four and we all discussed our own personal fears, be it dark, clowns, bugs, failing school, or whatever. after that we thanked our parteners and we all went into the bleachers and we where set into groups of around 10 people. in the groups we palyed a few games asked tons of questions and made sure we were attentive and respectful of each other. before we could get lunch we had to have the people in our groups to use there bodies to form words and/or letters. our group was the third to get release to lunch. while we were eating lunch we continued ask question to each other which was interesting. After we finished all of our group discussions we did something called "cross the line". the purpose of this was the director would ask a question, and if it applied to us we would cross the line. we did have to option of yes, no, or choose not to answer, and if you chose not to answer you would not cross the same a no and if yes you cross. he starts out with very basic, somewhat personal questions like "are you left handed" and other similar questions. as it went on though it would get more personal such as "have you lost a close relative,(brother sister parents)" or "have your been raped" or "are you depressed" and "have you tried to commit suicide". it is a very heart touching/breaking thing to do. after this all the guys got on one team and all the girls went on anouther and we hand to go in pairs through a jumprope with no stops inbetween each pair (one rotation of the rope = one pair goes through) niether team succeeded on any of their trys. we then got into one big group and had to go in 6's and we succeded on the first try, one because there was no competition, and everyone one cheering each other on. afterwards we made stickers with a comment to give to people we met during the program. it is a very good program and i loved that i was a part of it.

pre art update

hello everyone. on Wednesday ill be starting an "identity project" for art class and i think it will come out epic-ly
so when ever i finish it which i believe wont take too many classes ill will post it up here on my blog. also i plan to post a few new pics of my O.C. and a few "new" old one's which i call my voodoo dolls. there are four of them: Benjamin "Benji", Jack "the ripper", Harold, and Andy. i also have a comic i made with them but there are not very many pages and it died off but i might post more so all thing considered i'm gonna be post a bit over the next few weeks once i get everything together for posting.
Life has been hectic for me for the past few weeks and i'm stressed and been getting only about 5 hours of sleep every night. i have so much on my mind and i'm rushing to finish BYU also to top it all off now i have E2020 which is getting on my nerves. history is fun because of the teacher but the homework sucks. chem is fun and easy. English is boring but a fun and considerate teacher, who is surprisingly very welcoming which makes the class alot more interesting to be in. and art is somewhat boring considering my teacher talks for half the class so i can barely get anything done. bored and not much to do on weekends. well until then.

HEYA long time no blog

sorry its been awhile since my last update but hey its still running. so anyway my life is really weird right now and its not all that exciting. I'm so happy to be a senior because i can now go off campus at lunch which is awesome and very well worth it because i can buy healthier food than the crap my school sells. but my classes suck majorly its only the second week of school and my history and English classes are already bombed, but I'm doing my best to do well this year. also as soon as i finish my two English classes I'm doing on BYU I will be able start taking drivers ed which will be awesome because i can drive but I'm not all that excited I'm just scared like heck that i will fail. i could pass the written exam with ease but the actual driving i would fail because i sucked when i was doing the "every fifteen minutes" thing that my school does every other year for 20ish people. well I'm updating this blog because my friend reminded me about it and i need to do this cause its fun. in my art class we have to do an identity project which is becoming difficult for me but as I'm getting going a lot of pent up emotion which i don't want to escape is being put into it but also at the same time the me i want to show is coming out but its dragging everything with it. as I'm working on it i start to get extremely depressed and i also become very upset. my life its one gigantic cataclysm. on the out side i am the happiest most sunny dis-positioned positive and excited person ever, but on the inside i am the exact opposite, I'm depressed angry negative dark and glum. when it all is let loose I'm irrational and out of whack i do things i would never do, I'm harmless all the time but i become violent and hateful. my life is misery but i never show expression and i just mask myself with a wall, a wall that could stop even the world from moving it seems like to me. well that's a load off doesn't help but i feel better about stating this. well until then.
tip of the day: speak your mind and your heart, say what matters and don't hold things in. if your upset then tell those who are close to you because that will make you feel better and they will help you overcome your problems. ex. in 8th grade i lost my wallet and i was afraid of my teacher finding out but i wanted my mom to know. someone told my teacher and i was miserable i was crying my heart out and my friends helped me and just let me express my feelings. i did get my wallet back though but the thing is expressing your self helps heal wounds you may not realise you have. so till next time hope you like today's blog bye ;D

blog is postponed till thursday or friday

as the title states i will be postponing this blog. sorry my life is sucking miserably and worst of all this blog which is a lot of fun to do, i dont have time to really work on anymore lately because my mom has been breathing down my neck watching me almost constantly to make sure im working on this so its getting hard. i might have to work on the blog in the middle of the night so i can actually get this blog going again. this is getting miserable for me trying to get these stupid classes done. i really dont see the point in taking classes that have near to no relevance to the job the majority of people want to get. and i have a rhetorical question, when do we use what we learn in history, or math(although one of my favorite subjects), and engilsh or science?might add an update to this message tonight or later tonight that is and if i can ill start my blog again tomorrow but they will be very late at night.
tip for today: Stay true to what you believe in and make your choices carefully. modesty helps you more than you will realize. and friendship will help you more that you imagine, so take all this and "careful what you wish for ;-p"

Early and no real post today

Hey everyone I'm not going to do much of a post today because I don't feel like writing one up today, but I also really need to finish my online classes and if I finish them I might be able to convince my mom to let me play some video games because I bought a new game today. Okay well until then.

Boring repetition and I found the Journal

               Okay my life is getting exceedingly boring this summer my routine has become monotonous and bland and I wish I could do something about it but I can't because I have to do my stupid online courses so I can graduate next year, and even if I had no classes to make up I wouldn't know what to do with myself. On another note though, I did find my journal so I will type up a couple days of it at a time from what I remember because, as I have stated before, I don't like to write so the first few days aren't that descriptive.
               My mom is such a F***ing pessimist I hate her she always assumes the most negative things and because I have a couple of failed classes she randomly gets on my case and the says all these things I NOT going to get in life because I'm just going to be one of those idiots who flips burger and slings drinks. you know I just want to take every lighter and cigarette she has ever used and shove them down her throat. I wish she would just die I F***ing hate her so much. Sorry she just pisses me off so much anymore and its always the same thing. She gets set off by the smallest of things.
               Day one of my 19 day trip was spent basically just flying from here to and airport some where and then taking another plane to land in Edinburgh, Scotland. The flight was actually quite interesting. The first plane ride was rather dull and I didn't do much besides sleep and talk to my friend and one of our group leaders. We then sat in the airport for about 3 hours waiting for the next flight and we all had lunch. It fun to talk with everyone so we could all learn about each other. I don't remember all we talked about but I do remember about 7 of us were all sitting together eating different foods from all the different restaurants they had around. It was alot of fun. After getting on to the next plane that would take us to Edinburgh, Scotland, this plane was alot more fun. It had small screens on the Backs of every seat for people to choose from watching TV, listening to music, playing games and a couple other things. When you play games any of the games that had multi-player capabilities could be connected to anyone else on the plane who was playing that game. So most our delegation were playing games with each other which was alot of fun. When we were about half an hour away from the airport to land we all had to fill out these cards that stated who we were and where we were coming from, our purpose of travel, and length of stay. Now for reasons I cannot explain I messed up on the form and needed a new one about 4 times because I would either mess up my name, sadly, or I would mess up some other part of the form. 
               Once we got there, we basically were starting our tour and had to exchange some of our money to Euro's (oi-row-s) for our stay in Scotland and Ireland. We got on to our charter bus with our luggage and went off to our first location, which was basically just going as a group and learning about some of the history not far from our hotel. Those who had slept on the flight were smart because if we didn't sleep we were basically awake for about 30+ hours before we got to bed. The trip was alot of fun and it was nice to see the scenery and people and everything.
               We didn't do much else that take a bus ride while hearing about the culture of the country on our way to the hotel.
               I'll post the next day or two depending on how long it is tomorrow. I also noticed my mom yells into the phone when she talks and her voice is really grating when she is on the phone making it impossible for me to concentrate. Well until tomorrow.
               Today's tip is: Do your home work cause life sucks when you fail at school. And my second piece of advise is: take life in the fullest cause you never know when it might end, or when something might go wrong so you should make everything count and be happy with what comes your way.... unless its death of some sort cause that's not fun for anyone really. 

day three: SCHOOL IS ALMOST OUT

Sorry about todays being later than yesterday's I've just been busy and you'll find out why. Today was an okay day, I had no finals except for my art project which I basically just had to turn in, which was pretty awesome. My physics class, which only has four people due to all the seniors having graduated, was spent talking to the teacher and class mates about really random stuff, and taking apart Rube Goldberg projects and those that were glued were alot of fun to smash apart with a sledge hammer XD. We listened to music and that was about it. Then my math class was spent playing the most addicting mobile game, Angry Birds, and watching the movie "Remember the Titans". And that was alot of fun this day was actually a big waste of time and I did almost nothing. After school I brought home ALL of my art projects which I had done over the year, which was about 7 projects. Now this may not sound like much, but I'm in 3D design and sculpture so I had to lug 7 sculptures home. I was happy though because they all came out great. That final project I had spent the whole of the afternoon working on yesterday got me a C. That is the lowest grade I've gotten in that class all year T^T. Oh well, at least it was passing. Once I got home I played some games and I worked partially my power point I'm working on with my friend AJ, who's a girl, but even she hasn't completed here part of it so I dont know how we're gonna finish it by tomorrow for a presentation : '(


Well here's my advise for today, sorry it really obvious and most people know even me and don't use it so this is the irony. DON'T PROCRASTINATE!!!  Okay then this was a short blog and I'm tired it's almost 11:00 PM and I need to get up in 6 hours so Tah-Tah for now, and check back tomorrow.