The little and not so little things

The things that make me laugh seem to be everywhere all the time, but at the same times the things that bother me most are everywhere as well. Today sitting on a bus there is a very obese fat person (something i loath and find horrendous) sitting across from and she is singing poorly (find amusing some cases bother me if its really bad) and she is dancing in place jiggling only her upper torso back and forth, breasts shoulders area, and it like watching a tower of jello just wriggle back and forth on a plate. This makes me want to burst out laughing but i cant for being impolite and its hurtful to the target. The there are so many other things. Its usually the obscenely fat and obese people which bother me most, dreading riding the bus, and sometimes they do little things that are amusing. One has a horribly obnoxious laugh that gives me a headache, another mumbles quietly not knowing he is doing it and insults people that he is thinking about a few words getting through making it obvious who he dislikes. Now off the topic of fat people, i hate how California is filling with illegal immigrants (mainly hispanic) and they cant speak english if their lives depended on it, and even though we have laws against them getting hired they get jobs and then cant do anything cause they can speak english. It bothers me when people tell really crummy old inappropriate jokes and then need to explain it cause they didn't say it right in the first place or its so old and overused its not funny. I hate people a lot, and in California especially, all the immigrants take jobs everyone is a dumb F*** with no education. I would rather live in the country side where everyone is a friendly farmer and they just are alone to themselves most often or live where everyone is an intellectual and know how to be polite, talk without profanity, and have an education. Im tired of stupid people with no education who cant to squat get all the jobs and then cant do them properly but don't get fired due to minority rights. Society sucks. Obama is going to make the economy go past rock bottom and ruin the country. I want to leave the country america is so horrible. This blog went from about funny to how much i hate america.... I guess I just need an putlet for all the horror america has.
Well i got another doodle i did yesterday hope you like it, its steampunk inspired and its one of my "soul" drawings :3 Well until then

Just another doodle

This is literally just another doodle. Hope you all like it.

Recent doodles

Here are some doodles to take care of the lack of posted art

Happy times...with a side of hell

Well, I got my new laptop today though it wasn't meant to show up till Wednesday next week. I'm glad I got is so soon though gives me more time to go through hell getting all my bookmarks, stories, art, and other stuff on to this new one. I'm happy that I get to try all my games at max graphics and stuff too though downloads and other stuff are going to suck to take care of, time consuming, and just plain boring and annoying... well that's all for today, Until then.

New laptop

There is a new laptop in my near future, I will be getting it in about 1-2 weeks and then i will be able to buy Paint Tool Sai and I'll finally be able to start working on some new art and commissions and stuff which i am excited about. thats all i really have to say today, fairly unimportant but felt like saying it anyways. Until then

Pics of stuff. I feel nothing.

Here is a picture of my henna tattoo when i first got it. And along with that pictures of my pocket watch. Today since i woke up, i feel absolutely nothing. No emotions at all. I still love him, and i want to talk to him, but im so used to the usual "i love you"s and other thing that i dont know what to say to him, and he acts like nothing had ever gone on between us... Its rather depressing... I dont know what to do anymore. I have so many emotions that built up i want to break down but i cant... And i dont feel anything anymore... I need to get away from my family get a job and just live on my own. Well thats all, Until then...

Everything

Everything makes me think of the relationship I was in and I'm constantly fighting back the tears. I feel empty like my heart was torn apart. I cant even listen to music anymore, all the music I listen to and like were in a way love songs with either mentionings of relationships and love, or break ups and such. I always loved that music it always made me happy, and most of my music is upbeat. Now listening to it to try and cheer up only makes it worse and the only thing I can do is think about it and feel miserable. I cant escape the thoughts and I'm stuck unable to get my mind off it no matter what I do and I miserable. I wish my emotions would just leave me so I no longer have to feel anything. I rarely trust people and there are only a few that I trust. I don't trust my family, and even now there are only 3-4 people I really trust. I trusted him. I felt I could trust him and I still do sorta, but now that trust is almost gone, I have no one to talk to because even those I trust I cant go to because my trust isn't complete with those few people. I only have one person I can trust and go to and I can't even get a hold of them. My life is miserable and hell on the inside right now. Hope the pain goes away soon :'( well thats all for today, Until then...

Great weekend, bad day

Well to start off I had the most amazing weekend. Over the weekend I attended something known as the Viking Festival. I volunteer at it ever year through my church so I get in for free which is a plus, and it is alot of fun cause I see a ton of friends there. While I was there I got a new bronze pendant for my necklace. I had and have a wolf pendant I bought a few years ago, and this year I decided to purchase a Griphon pendant to add to it. Sadly the necklace didn't fit into the loop on the griphon so I had to but another necklace but they gave it to me for a dollar which was cool. Along with that I saw alot of friends and hung out and ate a ton of amazing food as I do every year. I got a Henna tattoo on my hand that is a dragon which looks really cool. I got one 3-4 years back and finally got another which I am happy about because it looks amazing.

Today, finally my "ex" boyfriend broke up with me sort of. He and I have been in an open relationship online so he was with one other guy who he has been with about the same time as me and today he finally chose. Sadly he chose the other guy but I understand. I'm still heartbroken though I wish I didn't feel this way. I feel like crying now but I hope it passes soon. Knowing me ill probably throw my feelings away like I do with all my others. I have no feelings it seems like any time something good or bad happens I feel for a short while and pass them off as though they never existed. I am fairly upset now.... I'm going to end it here, just something new for me to learn and deal with, Until then.

One of those days

Today is one of those days. Im sitting around doing nothing special and a great feeling of sadness washed over me and i thought about my lamb piccolo from freshman year during FFA and cant help but miss him greatly. He was an amizing little lamb, and i loved him greatly. Having to sell him for slaughter was one of the hardest things i could have done and today i somewhat regret it and miss him so much. He would have been 4 this november.... Its sad to think of. Well thats basically it for this post. Maybe one day i will start to post consistently again start posting drawings and such, well thats it. Until Then.

Dead? I THINK NOT!!

Hey everyone.... wow it has been quite awhile since my last post... not much has been going on. I went to my grandparents for 3 weeks, in Virginia and it was blazing hot I felt like I was melting in the heat and high humidity which sucked like hell, but I found out I'll be getting a new computer in the next few weeks. The past few weeks have been amazing though if you have been watching the Olympics! over 100+ medals for the united state! ^^ we are officially the most decorated for the 2012 London Olympics, BUT that could change for 2016 in Rio or in 2014 for the winter Olympics. Yay for world peace and international relations. The Olympics are a great time for all athlete to shine and show, no matter race language country or sport to shine! For all those who didn't gain a medal should be congratulated for making it there. What an honor! and for all those who medaled of any color, congratulation on such a historic achievement. Michel Phelps, the most decorated of any Olympian EVER congratulations. This was a great past 18 days and I cant wait for the next one to come. The opening and closing ceremonies were truly amazing as well. London, you did a wonderful job.

On a much different note now, I played minecraft for the first time ever last week and became an addict and beat the game within a week, I now play with friends and such and its loads of fun. I always saw it as such a completely boring, stupid, pointless game, but after play I see how awesome fun scary and whatever else it really is. I have run out of things to do, and my drawing program turned out to be a demo, but I have the money to buy it as well. Life is slowly becoming boring though.... I need to get out and live my life, I need to go to the mountains and camp for a week or two, but I don't know really. Well it's time to start drawing again, and to start writing stories again.

Well I will soon be getting my permit an licence, I just need to study up a bit on common sense hahaha. I read the manual and think "Driving for dummies" cause I know all the stuff just from sitting in a car, and watching driving. It's sad really but what ever, study is needed for a licence and permit. I don't need to take classes thankfully, maybe a few hours of behind the wheel, but nothing more.

Sorry about this blog becoming so intermittent and off from what it was originally made for but its still nice to see people actually view my blog. I have art in progress which may or may not ever make it onto the blog, because honestly I forget alot. Well Until then!

name change?

Hey everyone I might change my blogs title and possibly the blogs sites link. Because over the year I have "Discovered" that I am Pansexual, not Bisexual so it's going into thought. The site will probably will be the same for simplicities sake, but the name is a definite for change. :) till then.

As a side note Actually the address might change because I am not a high schooller anymore so 2-3 weeks before I officially change the site name I will post the Name, and the address on here if you miss the change I am sorry and I hope you can find the blog again, well Until Then.

Summer...

Well then, this wasn't I had been wanting waiting for or expecting of my summer. To start, life sucks, second my schedule is whack and I'm always tired, then I have nothing to do and I'm getting quite bored, on a happier note, I have more time to myself to draw, and that sadly resulted in one very good sketch and a very sub par drawing that should be redone... I am hoping that I can, over the summer perfect my style for drawing and require me to use less references. I tried chocolate covered bacon, and its actually really good, it took a few bites, but I actually like it very much. Last week on Thursday I went to Disneyland to something called Grad Nite and it was amazing, I loved it. Me and seven others all hung out, chatting, joking, going on rides and everything. I had a hell of a time and I will never forget the fun I had. Among other things, I'm really hoping for the chance to see my boyfriend this summer too. I still haven't gotten a job at Starbucks yet so I doubt I will. I will try to apply else where, but I'm not sure if I will, more because finding a job I believe to be fun and that I actually want to do will be hard. Well I guess that is all I have to day for now, Until Then : )

Forgot...

I never made a post for my birthday which was the 18th of this month. My birthday wasn't all that spectacular though, so I guess it doesn't matter really. I got a hundred bucks, and had a nice dinner and that was about it. I wish I had a better birthday but it's never been all that exciting anymore for me, life is hum-drum and boring, I can't wait for the summer, freedom because I'm an adult no longer bound by family, and I can finally have fun and possibly go out and do stuff that I want to do more often. Well that's it, Until then :)

Graduation

It's only a week away and I'm getting excited about finally being able to rid myself of the god forsaken school. Also I might be getting a job at starbucks !!! WOO!! I'm quite excited for school to be over. It's sad that this year is finally coming to a close, I will miss my friends dearly :'( Not much else is going on, but in my art class I'm making a small sketch book/journal so thats kinda neat. Well Until then!

AP/IB Testing

These AP tests suck, yes I get out of class till lunch, but they are boring hard, and suck a lot. I hope I did well on my AP Chem test, and thankfully its the only one I have to take. On a happier note, I'm making a book for my art class, and I'll be using it as a small portable sketchbook, or a journal or both, which will be cool once I finish it. Well until then.

Prom...

Well prom is coming up this Saturday. I'm really excited about it, but also at the same time a little sad. I'm going with a group of friends in a limo, which is awesome, and we are all having home made lasagna and pasta with meat balls which will be delicious. Sadly, I have no date :( I can't wait to go because it will be fun though to hang with friends for several hours. My tux is all black, with a bright indigo/turquoise vest, tie and pocket square. I guess that is all I have to say for today. Well until then.

New song

I recently was shown a Vocaliod song called "Alice Human Sacrifice" and I have fallen in love with it. The music is so cool, and the lyrics are dark and their meanings are determined by the listener. I listen to it near constantly because it's that great. It is a Japanese song and I want to learn how to sing them, but the translated version by Rockleetist has it so it matches not only the Japanese lyrics, but it also rhymes and fits the music. Well I hope you check out the song on youtube and I hope you like it :). Well until then.

Day of Silence

... Well today, 4-20-12, is Day of Silence as the title suggest. Day of Silence is where LGBTQ youth and their allies stay in silence to represent the voices of LGBTQ and allies who are bullied and ignored, and the voices of those who are cut short by suicide. Today please acknowledge these things and help rid places of gay bullying and suicide. Today at school we formed a circle hand in hand and in the end had 85ish people in full participation including a few teachers. Also all of my teachers and several friends where respectful of my silence. well i hope you all take this in consideration and help bring an end to gay bullying. thanks. Well until then.

Sven the baby turtle

well here is my latest work and im really proud of it hope you all like it too.

Finally got my tablet

Today my dad had to go to fry's electronics to get a hard drive for a friend and he let me get a draw tablet and im so excited to finally get to use it. So i can now post my sketches more often woo! Well until then

Another OC

Its incomplete and i cant seem to get the head right so until i get it, and the hands here is what it will look like. Also i need to finish the other leg.

Drew a good Naga

Hey I got bored the other day and decided to draw something and after about 20 minutes here is the result...

I'm horrible at drawing hands so I never drew them and I was thinking to hell with the waist down cause all I cared about was getting the head and the body. Its a fairly simple sketch not too time consuming or anything, just did it for the hell of it. Well I hope you all like it. Until then :)

happy days, bored

Well yesterday and today my school is having something called the CAHSEE tests and since im a Sr i dont have to take the test so school doesnt start till 10:50 which is really cool. I have gotten the chance to sleep in catch up on homework and stuff and its really awesome. Besides the testing going on not much else has happened, but I do get to visit my dad during spring break in two weeks which makes me really happy, and somewhat anxious. My painting is coming along nicely though just takes forever to blend it correctly and draw the finer black lines that outline and separate the colors. Not much else is going on though, kinda wish there was more to do, or at least more for me to do, around here. I'm getting bored of the same monotonous thing every week. Well until then.

Computer might die soon :(

I was using my computer not too long ago and it made a loud pop that i could feel, so i turned it off took it apart, and nothing. I'm scared to death that I'm gonna lose everything that's on my computer. I am worried to hell and i hope everything is alright. I'll probably get it checked out and possibly fixed or get a new one. I'm really freaked T^T. well until then.

Found some cool games

On that new card I got the other day I decided to play a game called "The World Ends With You" yesterday and I'm hooked. It's so cool I love the concept of the game, the art, and the music which is awesome. I found out that this game has been out for like 4 years though so the few people I have told already knew about it but to me it's one of the coolest games I have so far. Loving the game. There are a few other games on that card that I have played too but not as good as this. Another game I do plan to play and hoping it pars with TWEWY is "999: 9 doors, 9 rooms, 9 people". On another note the teacher who is the "adviser" of my schools GSA is now being referred to as "the gay teacher" which is really messed up because she is being based only on the club that she lets be hosted in her room. She is one of the coolest and nicest teachers at my school and hearing her referred to as that makes me what to cry. She has a husband so she isn't even gay which makes that name worse. I wish people would just be mature about this stuff. Well I guess that is all for this post. Until then. :)

Nerd moment

Well the other day I got this game card from my dad that lets me play ds roms on my ds. I had gotten one awhile back but it failed to work so I put the micro sd in the new one. at first it didnt work but after moving a few files and deleting and downloading some new one it worked. I'm so happy I have so many games now its amazing and I can play them. well thats it thought I would throw that in for today. I am trying to make an effort to make this blog a little more consistent and less spread out now too. Well until then. :)
Also I plan to do that clown picture I posted as a project for art class so that will be posted some time, I'm not sure when. Okay then that's all.

Doodle 1 of 2/3

Heres one of my doodles ill have others up some time

life is mundane

Hello everyone. I'm officailly sick of school. I want it to end and I still have a few months to go. I  guess life is going okay, I still need to make a few more courses and pass my current ones for graduation. I do the same thing every day and every week and it is getting on my nerves. I wish I could just be done with school and be free to just draw cook and play games. I'm just miserable at my school, although I'm surrounded by all my friends and they always cheer me up I feel alone. I have a special someone in my life but our relationship is long distance and I just wish I could go live with him, or be able to whisk him away so he can live with me. I guess on a brighter not this misery has cause my insanity and anger to flare which then all mix together and have given me many ideas for sketches and doodles which I will most likely end up using for project ideas... one of them I actually want to sculpt in clay as a figure. Recently I've also had quite a few story ideas that are somewhat on the happier note but still in the strange of sorts. Well I guess that is all for today I post up my sketches in a day or so, so be sure to look forward to some creepy quirky pics. Until then :)

life sucks

Hey, it's been awhile everyone. Well over the weekend on Sunday something happened that hurt like hell and now leaves me in pain every so often. I think it was a heart murmur or the cartlidge connecting my shoulder bone to my ribcage and made me collapse to the ground in pain. I probably need to go to the doctor to have my shoulder or my heart checked which really sucks because I cant afford it. Well  hope I dont die cause my heart makes funny sounds now too.

been busy

Wow I've been so busy I've been neglecting this blog. I've been busy with lots of stuff. Art class has been going well, I'm currently working on a window & door piece which consists of the left side being a male torso and on the right its opened up to reflect the characteristics and personality of the person within. My other classes are doing well but its just busy work mostly very tiring and annoying. I definitely cannot wait to graduate and get on with my life and have freedom over it with out being restricted by my mom. Well I don't really have anything else to say and sorry for being gone for awhile now. Well until then.