sorry its been awhile since my last update but hey its still running. so anyway my life is really weird right now and its not all that exciting. I'm so happy to be a senior because i can now go off campus at lunch which is awesome and very well worth it because i can buy healthier food than the crap my school sells. but my classes suck majorly its only the second week of school and my history and English classes are already bombed, but I'm doing my best to do well this year. also as soon as i finish my two English classes I'm doing on BYU I will be able start taking drivers ed which will be awesome because i can drive but I'm not all that excited I'm just scared like heck that i will fail. i could pass the written exam with ease but the actual driving i would fail because i sucked when i was doing the "every fifteen minutes" thing that my school does every other year for 20ish people. well I'm updating this blog because my friend reminded me about it and i need to do this cause its fun. in my art class we have to do an identity project which is becoming difficult for me but as I'm getting going a lot of pent up emotion which i don't want to escape is being put into it but also at the same time the me i want to show is coming out but its dragging everything with it. as I'm working on it i start to get extremely depressed and i also become very upset. my life its one gigantic cataclysm. on the out side i am the happiest most sunny dis-positioned positive and excited person ever, but on the inside i am the exact opposite, I'm depressed angry negative dark and glum. when it all is let loose I'm irrational and out of whack i do things i would never do, I'm harmless all the time but i become violent and hateful. my life is misery but i never show expression and i just mask myself with a wall, a wall that could stop even the world from moving it seems like to me. well that's a load off doesn't help but i feel better about stating this. well until then.
tip of the day: speak your mind and your heart, say what matters and don't hold things in. if your upset then tell those who are close to you because that will make you feel better and they will help you overcome your problems. ex. in 8th grade i lost my wallet and i was afraid of my teacher finding out but i wanted my mom to know. someone told my teacher and i was miserable i was crying my heart out and my friends helped me and just let me express my feelings. i did get my wallet back though but the thing is expressing your self helps heal wounds you may not realise you have. so till next time hope you like today's blog bye ;D
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